Parenting Churches – 10 Steps

NCS has developed multiple resources and tools to assist local churches in the process of parenting a healthy new church. Part of our service includes providing education to potential parent churches to better understand the parenting process. Written by NCS Senior Consultant Phil Stevenson, the 10 steps below help explain the basic phases churches go through in the parenting process.

Step 1: The leader must catch the vision.

It all begins with the leader. Typically, as the Pastor goes so goes the church. The Pastor needs to determine the level of involvement he and the church will have in parenting.

The Pastor is the key to reaching the harvest through church parenting. If he/she is willing, almost always the people are willing. If the Pastor is hesitant, the people will be reluctant to move ahead and parent. Consider the following questions:

Why would the Pastor not want to plant?
What questions will have to be answered to get the Pastor to consider parenting?
What does the congregation think about parenting?

It takes all kinds of churches to reach all kinds of people.
Rick Warren

Church planting is the most effective means of evangelism under heaven.
Peter Wagner

Step 2: Create a burden through prayer.

Need does not constitute burden. Yet many leaders do not look to God as to the burden He may choose to give them in parenting. Prayer is the critical component. Pastors should make the time to take the time to spend time with God. In this time God should be asked as to their role in parenting.

Helps for a personal prayer retreat

Set one day (4-6 hours) to get alone with God
Go someplace you will not be interrupted (no pagers, or cell phones)
Take a Bible, pen and writing tablet
Read through the Book of Acts
Ask God to reveal Himself in the book
Write down impressions, thoughts and insights
Keep the following question in the front of your mind: Father, what do you want me to do in the parenting movement
Act on what He tells you

Step 3: Cast the vision to the congregation.

You have to build agenda harmony and help people to "buy" into the parenting vision. Begin with key leaders. Put books into their hands. Take them to New Church University and attend Parent Church Training together.

In casting the vision beware of hurdles you will have to clear:

Fear
Finances
Investment of friendships
Investment of leadership
Lack of knowledge
Pride
Selfishness
Priority of ministry
Timing of the parenting role
Ownership

5 Wrong Core Values That Sometimes Surface In The Parent Church

Fear rather than faith.
Safety rather than sacrifice.
Complacency rather than compassion.
Isolation rather than involvement.
Lethargy rather than leadership.

Step 4: Cultivate the resources

The parent church has many resources necessary to help a new church get going. The key four need to be cultivated:

Finances
Family (a fishing people for leaders and workers)
Facilitation (training)
Farming (place to cultivate team members)

4 Reasons Why People Give To Church Planting

Because they have a personal relationship with the person who asks for the gift.
Because they believe in the cause--they want to invest in ministry.
Because of the content of the communication--they are approached with a good presentation.
Because of the method of the communication--the more personal it is, the more successful it will be.

Avoid the 3 Biggest Mistakes In Church Parenting

Moving ahead with plans before the congregation has ownership
Poor planter selection and lack of a clear new church action plan
Inability to release control of the new church

Begin to look for quality planters to join you in the parenting vision.

Three helps in planter selection:

Make sure you have an objective church planter assessment done on the church planter by a qualified Assessment Center or an Assessment Behavioral Interview.
Once assessed, have the planter do a demographic study, conduct some hands-on field research, and discern the spiritual climate and community needs.
Unless the planter has cross-cultural planting gifts, they will tend to reach others like themselves. Explore the background of the planter, their spouse and their parents. Examine such things as where they grew up, their educational levels, occupations, etc. Make sure the community matches who they are.

Step 5: Consider the opportunities.

Look around at the locations that might be good areas to plant. Determine the model you might utilize in parenting. Study the different parenting models at NCS on the Web.

Step 6: Chart a course.

Attending New Church University and a Parent Church Seminar will help you develop a "Parent Church Action Plan."

C.H.A.N.G.E.S. in getting on course

Consider the present situation
Have an end result in mind
Advance strategically
Negotiate the problems
Get your people on board
Evaluate your progress
Show your people the results

Step 7: Count the cost.

Anything worthwhile has a cost involved. A parent church will make five key investments:

Members
Money
Mud (turf)
Ministry resources
Momentum

Parenting always costs something, but the results are always worth it!

Step 8: Celebrate the release.

When releasing the parenting team be sure to design a service that is a combination of celebration and commission.

How To Release The New Church

Emotionally, keep telling yourself to let go, just like every parent has to do when their child is leaving home. Parenting a church correctly is not easy. It's like having a child born and married simultaneously! They are born and then you have to give them away, on the same day! It's not easy.
Continue to honor your financial commitments to the new church, but don't second-guess the decisions that the new church is making. Trust them!
Recognize your changing relationship with both the church planter and the new church. To paraphrase John 3:30, the parent church's role must decrease so the new church can increase.
As the parent, know when to pull the plug for good and let the new church stand on its own. The new church must learn to solve its own problems without tapping into the resources of the parent church. Balancing this issue will take honesty and integrity on the part of both the planter and the parent church pastor.
If the new church is not released, the relationship between the two churches will be troubled long-term. First, the parent church won't recover as quickly, because it will be focusing on the needs of two churches. And secondly, the new church won't develop right. It will either develop resentment or dependency (or both) toward the parent church. So releasing the new church is crucial to its long-term health.

How To Celebrate Its Success

Continue to pray for the new church publicly, with thankfulness to God for the lives that are being changed.
Celebrate the grand opening by video taping the service and playing parts of it to the parent church.
Have the planter come and share an update of how the new church is progressing.
Celebrate the first baptism service. Take pictures and show them to the parent church.
Celebrate the first anniversary service. Recount how God has blessed and been at work during the first year.
Invite the new church to participate and go with you to denominational gatherings. Go with the planter to retreats and other judicatory functions. Move from acting like the "parent" church, to treating them as a "sister" church. (But just know that as the parent, you will always feel the pride a parent feels when your child does well!)
Schedule the formal church organization service at a time when people from the parent church can join in the celebration by attending.

Step 9: Concentrate on recovery.

The parent needs to concentrate on stabilizing. Make sure you regain your footing financially, spiritually, emotionally, numerically and relationally. This recovery time will often depend on the health of the parent prior to the birth.

How To Renew The Parent Church's Vision

First, take some time to rest. The parent church pastor may not want to--you may feel that you will lose momentum. But recognize that giving birth means someone just went through labor. Give the parent church time to celebrate the church plant's success. Also give the parent church some time to recover.
If it is led correctly, the parent church can experience a very clear sense of renewed vision from God. The parent church pastor must be ahead of the people when it is time to move forward with God's next step. But don't forget, when you cast vision, share the vision of how many are being reached now because of the generosity and unselfishness of the parent church.
As the parent church pastor, establish clear goals and develop a detailed action plan as you lead the parent church forward.
Remember the following realities about the impact of parenting a new church:
1. Attendance recovery - it usually takes 3-12 months to recover if 10% of your average attendance goes with the new church. This assumes the parent church is involved in effective outreach and assimilation. Lack of attendance recovery in the parent church is an indicator of weak evangelism and assimilation systems.
2. Financial recovery - the time required for this will depend on the number of tithers you have given and the length of time you have committed to support the new church. Just remember, it is impossible to out-give God!
3. Leadership recovery - it usually takes 3-12 months to raise up new leaders to replace those who you send out in mission. In the parent church, the apprenticing of replacement leaders should begin in the pre-natal phase, before the new church is born. Lack of new leaders in the parent church indicates the need for improving your system of challenging, training and mobilizing people for ministry. But you can mark this down! You will be very surprised who God prompts to step forward and help in the parent church, after you follow God's will in sending people out to extend the kingdom.

Step 10: Conceive again.

A healthy church should be capable of reproducing every three to four years. It is through reproducing churches we will be able to see whole regions taken for the glory of God and expand the Kingdom.

For more information about NCS Parenting Seminars, contact Dr. Charles Lake at (317) 691-0407 or office@newchurchspecialties.org.